Self Portraits

The entire time I’ve been a photographer, I’ve photographed myself on a regular basis.

There’s lots of reasons, the main one being to test the light. When I was learning lighting, I used myself to practice.

And still now, any time I want to try a new lighting setup, I put myself in front of the camera for a light test.

Sometimes before a session, I’ll do a light test just to make sure everything’s working, set-up and ready to go before my client arrives. 

Self Portraits to Practice Posing

Very early on as a photographer, it became top priority to to learn about posing.

I realized quickly that most people are not comfortable being in front of the camera.

There’s this anxiousness that comes with not knowing what to do or being unsure about how to pose.

My goal is to make sure each session feels safe and directed for the client, and I’ve spent hours and hours practicing posing so that I can easily pose my clients.

I’ve put myself through figuring out how to move and pose so that it’s easier to explain the direction to clients.

It’s also been such an interesting personal journey for me.

Practicing posing has been a practice of connecting with myself.

It’s true that your posture, your presence, your pose, all influence your mood/feeling.

Putting yourself into a power pose (taking up space, chin up, etc.) for example, makes you feel more confident.

Feeling more connected with how my body moves and how I can influence how my body moves and feels, has been a big part of my journey of self-acceptance and self-love.

Self Portraits as a study of self-acceptance, self-love.

Years ago, I did a selfie challenge, where once a week you photograph yourself and say something you like about yourself.

My friend, it was pretty hard at first, and it didn’t really feel genuine. 

I’d take a photo and sometimes easily find something to compliment, but sometimes only criticism came to mind. 

It was a struggle.  But I kept at it.

And over time, seeing myself became less triggering. 

That’s how bad my self-criticism was. 

My self-talk was so harsh and negative that even seeing myself in a photo would set off a barrage of insults or complaints. 

Not fun.

As I did the challenge, I noticed a shift.

First, I just aimed for neutral. 

Nothing over the top lovey-dovey or super positive.  Just not critical.

After a while, I started warming up to the idea of not being mean to myself all the time.

I would catch myself when negative thoughts popped into mind and stop them from continuing. 

Once that became more natural, I actually started offering myself grace.

Finally, I found myself in a place where I could actually give myself compassion or a compliment. 

Self Portraits as self expression

What started more as a practical practice for learning lighting also became a sort of practice of self expression.

Self portraits are an outlet for creativity and way to practice fully being myself.

I’ve turned it into a practice of allowing my full self to show up.

Some days that expression shows up as joyful or happy and sometimes it shows up as frustration, anger or sadness.

Whatever is there is ok. When it’s allowed to be, to exist, I’ve found that it passes through.

Doing self portraits has also allowed me the space to put this into practice.

My studio is a place where it’s safe to be seen.

It’s a place I’ve carved out in the world where the judgment is left at the door and you’re allowed to just be.

That includes my clients, myself, and anyone who walks through the door.

That’s not just something I say because it sounds nice.

It’s fully embodied and I mean it from the very bottom of my heart.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because, if I can do it, anyone can.

It just takes a willingness to show up and a bit of practice.

I’m here to tell you it’s so worth it. 

Life is so much better when you’re not at war with yourself.

My goal with every photoshoot is to give you a space to see yourself through a compassionate lens; one that’s not critical or judgmental. 

When you feel seen as beautiful as you are, without changing anything, “flaws” and all, you’re free to show up as fully yourself.

And that is the key to loving yourself and your life.

If you ever want to talk more about this or if you have questions, send me message.

I’m an open book and will be your biggest cheerleader on your own journey of self-acceptance and self-love.